Last Updated on 21 June 2024

Airplane! (1980) quotes

  • Bad news. The fog’s getting thicker.
    And Leon is getting laaaaarrrrrger.
  • Can you fly this plane, and land it?
    Surely you can’t be serious.
    I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley.
  • Do you know what it’s like to fall in the mud and get kicked… in the head… with an iron boot? Of course you don’t, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that’s a dumb question… skip that.
  • Excuse me, Captain Oveur, but I have an emergency call on line five from a Mr. Hamm.
    All right, give me Hamm on five, hold the Mayo.
  • I haven’t felt this awful since we saw that Ronald Reagan film.
  • I just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.
  • Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home.
  • Ladies and gentlemen, this is your stewardess speaking. We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused. This is due to periodic air pockets we encountered. There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
  • Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.
    Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.
    Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue
    Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.
  • Nervous?
    First time?
    No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.
  • Oh, stewardess! I speak jive.
  • Surely there must be something you can do.
    I’m doing everything I can… and stop calling me Shirley!
  • We have clearance, Clarence.
    Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?
  • The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.
  • You ever been in a cockpit before?
    No sir, I’ve never been up in a plane before.
    You ever seen a grown man naked?
  • You’d better tell the Captain we’ve got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
    A hospital? What is it?
    It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.