Last Updated on 21 June 2024

Quotes from Ricky Gervais (1961-)

• Animals are not here for us to do as we please with. We are not their superiors, we are their equals. We are their family. Be kind to them.
• Be happy. It really annoys negative people.
• Being on the edge isn’t as safe, but the view is better.
• Beliefs do not change facts. Facts, if one is rational, should change beliefs.
• Body language is more powerful than words.
• Celebrities, make it harder for hackers to get nude pics of you from your computer by not putting nude pics of yourself on the computer.
• Comedy is a medicine, a healing process that can help people get through difficult times and understand things better.
• Enjoy life. Have fun. Be kind. Have worth. Have friends. Be honest. Laugh. Die with dignity. Make the most of it. It’s all we’ve got.
• Got a proper job at 28. Gave it up to try comedy at 38. Decided to get fit and healthy at 48. It’s never too late. But do it now.
• I always chose all my friends on whether they were funny. What’s a better way to pass the time than laughing or smiling?
• I believe the greatest privilege in this world is to use your freedom of speech for those who have no voice.
• I can’t stand it. I can’t stand someone being embarrassed. I don’t know why. If someone slips over and the first thing they do is look around, I pretend I haven’t seen it.
• I don’t believe in about 2700 Gods. Christians don’t believe in 2699 Gods. They’re nearly as atheistic as me.
• I think comedy has to be an intellectual pursuit. It comes down to logic and analysis. As soon as it becomes emotional, it’s not comedy anymore.
• I think the job of a comedian is to make people laugh, but also challenge them to laugh at things they didn’t know they could until now.
• I went to university with no money. I can’t understand a society that wouldn’t give a poor person the same opportunity as a rich person.
• If you can laugh in the face of adversity, you’re bullet-proof.
• If you can’t joke about the most horrendous things in the world, what’s the point of jokes? What’s the point in having humor? Humor is to get us over terrible things.
• If you try to please everyone you’ll please no one.
• If you’re surrounded by idiots, you’re the unpopular one and the odd one out because idiots don’t like smart asses.
• It’s better to create something that others criticize than to create nothing and criticize others. Go create, have fun!!
• I’ve never worked out what the moral of Humpty Dumpty is. I can only think of: Don’t sit on a wall, if you’re an egg.
• Just because you’re offended, doesn’t mean you’re right.
• Mondays are fine. It’s your life that sucks.
• The most important thing in comedy – apart from empathy, which I think is important even if disguised – is surprise. I like surprising people with the fact that something’s even a joke at all.
• The next time someone is critical of you, just take a moment to consider their life. Then smile to yourself.
• Opinions don’t affect facts, but facts should affect opinions, and do, if you’re rational.
• People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they’re very rarely the same.
• Piracy doesn’t kill music, boy bands do.
• Relax. No one else knows what they’re doing either.
• Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
• Suggesting I hate people with religion because I hate religion is like suggesting I hate people with cancer because I hate cancer.
• Take a picture not a trophy This is how real men shoot animals.
• Telling someone with depression to pull themselves together is about as useful as telling someone with cancer to just stop having cancer.
• That’s the amazing thing about life. You can just rub it out, like a blackboard, and start again.
• The truth doesn’t hurt. Whatever it is, it doesn’t hurt. It’s better to know the truth.
• Try something. And never be afraid to fail. That failure is useful too. It’s just another building block.
• Well, I think life is precious because you can’t watch it again. I mean you can believe in an afterlife if that makes you feel better, but once you realize you’re not going to be around forever, I think that’s what makes life so magical.
• What will it feel like after you die? Exactly the same as it felt for those billions of years before you were born.
• When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It’s only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.
• Where there’s a will, there’s a relative!
• Whether you understand they evolved over billions of years or believe that a God made them all one afternoon, please be kind to animals.
• Why buy a book when you can join a library?
• The world is not entirely comic and it’s not entirely dramatic. You have a laugh and then someone finds a lump and you deal with that. Because that is what life is like.
• You are the result of billions of years of evolution. You will only live for a few years and will never exist again. Absolutely beautiful.
• You now have the least amount of time you’ve ever had, to do everything you’ve ever wanted to do. Enjoy your life. You only get one.
• You should bring something into the world that wasn’t in the world before. It doesn’t matter what that is. It doesn’t matter if it’s a table or a film or gardening-everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say ‘I did that.’
• Your God is the best God. In fact, he’s the only God. All other Gods are ridiculous, made up rubbish. Not yours though. Yours is real.